return my video game
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize