the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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