Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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