Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
