let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
