Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
