You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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