dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
