i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
