People with herpes should wear stickers.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
