I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
