she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
