I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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