New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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