I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
