you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
