So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
