everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
