i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
