just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
