At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
