ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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