he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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