Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
