Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
