Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize