We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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