Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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