I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize