The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
