I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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