i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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