I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
