there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
