Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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