i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
