just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
