I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
