wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The air was thick with penises
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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