Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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