there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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