The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
