haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
