No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
