Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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