Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
