I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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