with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
