come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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