Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
