last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize