so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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