Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
