i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Welp...herpes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
