Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
