you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
