I skipped work to stalk him.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize