My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
