i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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