Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
