I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
